As I was growing up, I've been through a lot as a child. On the news, I always hear about how young children go through all of these problems and don't have anyone to care for them and take care of them. Thinking to myself, "If I were put in the situation to take care of a child that is in need, or any child at any matter, I will do my best to take that child into my care.
There are a lot of things that a child needs while they are growing up, like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. No matter how long the child would be in my care, I will teach them everything that I know. Being with a child builds love, care, and support for them; that's what every child needs to have a good life and to start them off.
I would teach this child different and new values, good ones. I would teach them to be honest, caring, and responsible. They would have respect for everyone, especially the elderly. The most important thing in their lives would be their family and friends, but first, they would know to take care of themselves and make sure that they would be alright. They would learn the values eabout life and how life came to be (well, the different theories).
They would be able to experience a parent figure that would treat them good and have a good life. I wouldn't spoil them, but be able to teach them what I know, and teach them to be better than me and use the knowledge that they have to learn and teach themselves more. I would like them to experience different sports, different foods, clubs, activities. So that when they are not with me anymore, I would want them to have experienced a lot of different things. I would just want to them to experience a good life and know what it is all about.
I do believe that all the children deserve to live a good life and to know a lot of knowledge that would help them in the future. If I could have a child in my hands all the time, they would be a better person than what I grew up to be.
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I see your topic was about having a child in your care. It seems to me that you would really want this child to have a great life when he/she grows up.
ReplyDeleteWhat you should od to make it better is check uour grammar (only a couple of flaws) and "show" how you can help this child. Other than that, it was great overall.
-thea
I like the topic you picked Jisel. I like how you started off as thinking about how there are other kids who don't have a lot and you list how you would help with children such as: teaching them how to love and how to be a parent figure as well. But like what thea said there are some grammar errors but overall it was good.
ReplyDeleteHi Jisel,
ReplyDeleteDon't forget to include the university or college name and the topic or prompt for the essay.
Then...I agre with Thea, who said that you need to "show" more in your essay. Instead of explaining that you have been through a lot as a child, "show" this by a couple of specific details.
Instead of explaining that you will teach them all you know and allow them to experience different activities, give examples of specific knoweldge, specific sports and other experiences. (In fact, count how many times you use the word "experience"...itself a pretty vague word.
If you can make your ideas specific, I think you will end up with a much stonger essay, one that college admissions officers will be more likely to remember :)
mrs s